So.....I am entering a different phase of life. This one is taking some getting used to and has not been without it's share of personal opposition. For as long as I can remember, as long as I have been blessed to be married to Jordan and as long as I have been honored to be called mom, I have attempted to do it all. I love having a full plate - the size of a platter as Mark Driscoll calls it! Saying yes is fun, exciting, adventurous and rewarding. Saying yes also causes burnout, lack of margin, joints that are screaming for a break, and an inability to keep first things first and therefore imbalance in what God has called me to do. All this to say, Jordan has asked me not to put on a tool belt and work alongside him in the construction of this next house.
Ouch! Talk about wrestling with feelings of being put on the shelf, retired, aging and weakness. In processing these feelings, I have been convicted of my tendencies to find my worth and value in what I accomplish and not who I am in Christ. By letting this part of my identity as "the building wife" go and honoring Jordan's desire to protect me, I am finding a freedom. It's a freedom in being able to spend the time I really need to in cooking for my family, planning for the kids education, administrating details for the building project and just being present for the kids. It is a concious effort to not pick up that hammer or skill saw and it will be even tougher as the project rounds the bend into full swing. But for now...I am leaving my tool belt on the hook under the stairs and thanking God for a husband who loves me enough to help me set limits and to pursue the priorities that are best.
In being vulnerable about this strange and good set of circumstances set before me, maybe it will cause some of you to evaluate your plateful of activities and commitements. What is occupying you? Is the right thing at the wrong time, the wrong thing?
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