Perspective from Belize

So we traveled far last week.....three hours in the car, 4 hours on a plane, another 2 hours on a plane, another hour in the car.  We arrived in another world yet it was exactly the same in so many ways.  Time seemed of no consequence.  Cell phones and watches were tucked away and we traversed the day immersed in a sense of God's timing for all things and not our own agenda.  It was wonderful, faith building, messy, stretching and refreshing!  The kids and I shared a week with dear friends in a little village of Belize.  We walked the dusty roads, shared meals together, worked side by side to love the people of this little place called Las Flores.

 When time is of little consequence there is a perspective that shines bright.  God's ways are not our ways, His timing is not ours but His ways and His timing are perfect!  We traveled far to work with our hands in an orphange filled with children.  When we arrived, we learned that the orphanage we planned to spend the week working in was already receiving help by many who had also traveled far.  The Lord closed that door of ministry to swing wide another that was more perfect than we could have even imagined.  Just down the road from where we were staying, there was a tired little house with peeling green paint.  Next to the house was an open room with rusty folding chairs used for church every night.  On the other side of the tired green house was a little space about the size of a cozy utility room.  That space is called Anna's Kitchen.

 Miss Anna and her mountain moving faith, feed hungry children every day during the school lunch hour.  Anna and her dear husband have four children of their own and often aren't sure how they will pay their electric bill.  But on faith, she fixes food for hungry tummies every day wether she has run out of propane and must cook on an open fire or in the confines of the tiny little kitchen.  The children and I, along with dear friends were blessed with the time and resources to give Anna's Kitchen a face lift.

Moriah braiding Clarissa's hair...this dear girl lives behind the kitchen with her mother.  Miss Anna and her husband took them in to escape a hurtful father.

Little Anna, Miss Anna's daughter sand Samarah Jo became dear friends

Jeff had a pile of boys hanging around him all week that loved borrowing his sunglassas and playing soccer with him.

By helping her, she encouraged us in our faith and constantly gave glory to God in her words and actions.  We learned so much about sparrow faith and what is really important.  So many irons in the fire as we return home to our harried pace of life.  Praying that God would help me to retain the lessons of perpective, priority and peace that seemed to speak so loudly in a little village of Belize.

The Breaking But Happy Momma Heart

Was I just not listening in those early days of diapers, dishes and dirt or did nobody mention how my heart would break a bit at a time as I watched my babies grow up and become adults?  How can a heart by so thankful for God's goodness and growth and so broken for what is already gone at the same time?

We were just in the throws of tutus for dance and learning to ride a bike....

Now she's filing taxes, shopping for a car and ordering checks!  

They are each instruments in our hands for a blink..

Use the days of littles wisely...

They are almost gone.

So I am counting God's grace for my oldest daily in an effort to keep perspective and to keep my eyes on Him who comforts.  God is faithful and I am greatful daily for new mercies and for the blessing of being mom.

~ She loves Jesus with all her heart
~She loves her family by serving the needs of those around her
~She is actively mentoring her siblings in godliness
~She is running toward the finish line of school
~She has been blessed with an amazing barn management job
~She is such a dear friend
~She makes us all laugh with her dry sense of humor
~She loves the wild...there is a little bit of mountain woman in everything she does
~Sigh....thankful for all this and more daily

10 Things The Lord Continues To Teach Me....

1.  God is faithful in everything.

2.  Remembering God's faithfulness through writing is essential.

3.  Prayer is effective.

4.  Children love spontaneous adventures as much as routine.

5.  Boys can eat way more than I ever imagined.

6.  I love coffee dates with Jordan and would rearrange anything to spend more time with this man!

7.  Time with our children is so short....we must be purposeful.

8.  Schooling is only a small part of learning.

9.  Contentment is an attitude and cannot be determined by anything or anyone.

10.  God's timing is perfect in all things.

Hard Stops to Pray

The subject of consistent prayer has been nudging at me for many months now....

I have been convicted this year of the undeniable importance of being a prayer warrior momma.   As I have studied prayer and some of the pillars of the faith who have been effective prayer warriors, I have become convinced of one thing in particular.

The only thing that prevents me from praying more is me!

When I look at the incredibly full lives of women who have gone before me, all excuses for not praying consistently, sound hollow.  It sounds harsh, but I am convinced of the truth of this statement...

"The extent of prayer in ones life is a direct function of whether something else has been set up as more important than God"

Ouch....all those busy mommy thoughts that have crowded out prayer time seem to be resounding in my head....

Is the clean kitchen more important that stopping to pray?

Is this next load of laundry getting rotated more important than stopping to pray?

Is this dirty floor that needs a quick scrub more important than stopping to pray?

Is this facebook message more important than stopping to pray?

This past fall, I have experimented with an new approach to prayer consistency and I am excited in the new year to continue and to spend more time with the Lord on my knees.  I have created "hard stops" during the day.  Times during the day when the alarm sounds and it is simply a reminder to stop and pray.  My children know this prayer alarm now and will often bring my phone to me and say "time to pray mom."

The more consistent this prayer time becomes, the more I need time on my knees with Him. 

Samual Chadwick said "Hurry is the death of prayer."

I have seen this in my own life...during times of hurry, the prayer journal lies quiet.  How sad.  During the times when I need God's grace in my life most, the recounting of His grace through gifts, is quiet.  I want my children to look back over my life and see the counted evidences of grace in hard and busy times as well as times that are more comfortably structured.  

Over the past seven years, I have been filling ruled paper with prayer letters for Jordan and the children.  I am so thankful that God's evident work in their lives is not dependent on my consistency.  In the hardest seasons of life, again, the prayer journal is quiet.  I want this to be different so that the children can see God's amazing, sustaining grace in every season of life.  

So as the new year dawns, I have committed to adding more hard stops to each day.  Moments to stop, seek the Lord, renew my mind and remember His sacrifice.  

The pleasent little ring tone that goes off at 11:50 a.m. has become part of every day.  I have found that I start watching the clock and looking forward to the moments set aside to pray.  Maybe that's how Daniel felt when he knelt three times daily to thank God (Daniel 6:10). Maybe that's what James was getting at when he penned "The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much (James 5:16).

If this year is my last, I want to leave a legacy of effective prayer.  So the alarm has been set.  Might you want to join me in consistently coming before the Lord at set times during the day.  He is faithful.

1 Peter 5:7  casting all your cares on Him, for He cares for you.

Jeffrey ~ God's peace and the gift we grieved before we celebrated....

It was March and we were caretaking at the home of my grandparents in Wenatchee.  Moriah was a busy and joyful 2 1/2 year old and we were getting used to the routine and blessing of Jordan's new job at Everett Fire Dept.

We were praying for a brother for our little girl and waiting....so excited to have more little ones to raise up in the Lord.  I had a couple-day hunch ~ and then he was gone.  Before we could even celebrate the gift of baby coming, this baby was in heaven.  How can an early miscarriage carry so much emotion and a heart burst with love for a little one that you haven't even met?  The heart of a mother and a father during those times is such a small but maybe accurate reflection of how much God loves us.  So we cried together in each other's arms wondering why and waiting on God and wishing for some answers as to why we had to say goodbye before we could even kiss him hello...

I remember the phone call as if it were yesterday...Jordan called his dad to give him the news.  Not that we were pregnant but that he was already gone.  Hard days.  Sick days.  I wasn't shaking the all-day sickness that should be subsiding a little by now.  I carried around a soup pot with me everywhere, afraid I would lose my cookies at any moment.  Sweet Moriah did everything her little two-year-old self could do to make mommy more comfortable but it got worse.

Finally Jordan and I decided to seek some medical help for the sickness that wouldn't stop.  Dr #1 said everything would be fine just give it time.....so I waited some more and nothing changed.  Dr #2 decided that something wasn't matching up with my story and decided to do an ultrasound...

The dark room seemed to expode with hope and joy as all of the sudden this little peanut with a beating heart showed up on the screen!  WHAT??? we both said through tears?? He is already gone we had been told by the doctors a couple weeks ago.  There he was - our miracle gift that we had grieved the loss of for several weeks already.  Still there were some unanswered questions though.  It appeared that there had been a miscarriage...your twin.  We miss him to this very day.  There are times when your dad and I will look in the rearview mirror at the carful of kids the Lord has blessed us with and get all teary knowing that we are missing one.  The ache is deep and we long for the day when we will meet him in heaven.  We know you too have ached for that brother....we will all be able to hug him someday in heaven - oh the joy of reunion!

This was not a normal pregnancy though, and our little man inside looked healthy enough but his watery home was a little precarious.  Bedrest is a bit of a mommy nightmare with little ones.  It is an opportunity to grow in humility and in gracious receiving as others do the tasks that have your name on them.  This was our family story for about five months after we learned that Jeff's twin was already gone and in order to keep Jeff healthy I must be still.

Psalm 46:10  Be still and know that I am God....

Little Moriah learned to tuck herself in for a nap, get up in the morning and come find mommy in bed so we could snuggle when Jordan was on duty. She brought me all sorts of things - wanted and unwanted :-)

He grew stronger inside me and big!  Oh my this little man grew bigger than any of my other babies and when hunting season rolled around and I shouldered a gun, Jordan and I both just burst out laughing.  The combination of a very large momma hunting for deer made us laugh so hard that we decided I would be quite a distraction and should maybe sit this year out!

He kept growing....and I wore clothes in sizes I had never ever imagined needing :-)

December rolled around and it was nearing Christmas....he was due on Christmas Eve....can't think of a more amazing gift than that of a son to remind us of the Son who came.

Labor was long....33 hours,  but kissing those chubby little cheeks through oh-so-many tears was worth every bit of this challenge.

Since the time you were very small you have taken it upon yourself to be the man in the family whenever dad is at work.  You bless me consistently with your tender, thoughtful care.  When you were little it was hugs and kisses and as you have grown to be the young man that you are today I am blessed daily by your care of your momma.  As I am compiling this list of the ways you bless this family it just makes me smile and cry at the same time....

hot cups of tea for weary mom

cooking meals anytime, anywhere

the way you have always copied your dad

your hysterical accents

the way you have always honored and respected your Grandpas

your protection of my health and how you step in on the heavy stuff

the way you were born to hunt....it's in your blood

back rubs while I read chapter books aloud

the way you are always fighting for something good

the way you model Christ to your brother

the way you loved to snuggle fish

the way you handle money - so carefully yet lavishly generous

the way you are content with so little and I have to drag the "list" out of you if you every need stuff

the way you shoulder a man size pack

the way you haul army stuff with you wherever you go

Son, as you turn 13, your dad and I are overwhelmed at God's grace in our life and yours.  We are so thankful for what he has brought us through together and look forward with anticipaction to this next season of your life.  God has been so faithful and we are confident in this....

He who began a good work in you, will bring it to completion at the day of Christ Jesus Phil 1:6

We love you son ~ Happy Birthday

Christmas in the barn...

 Ahh Christmas in the Barn!

It feel so good to finally be "in" the barn.  We found the bedroom slippers, Little Britches books, Stratego, and that one missing dog bowl we have looked everywere for:-)

It isn't "Courrier and Ives" by any stretch of the imagination!  We have just a few outlets wired up so far and this dear girl had to wire up an outlet she needed so she could decorate for Christmas :-)

As I write this it is a balmy 5 degrees outside which translates inside to hugging the wood stove and contemplating the fact that I can see my breath in the "living room" :-)

Samarah pulled out her violin for the first time in months and gave this momma goose bumps with a by ear rendition of the star spangled banner - oh my!

Moriah takes her quarter final on Monday and can't wait to start in on a stack of books she has been dying to dig into.  I was looking through her stack of authors...Elisabeth Elliot, Josh Harris, Fracis Chan and of course some Louis Lamour and Steven Bly.

Jeff found all his war history books and has been snuggling under a pile of quilts to re-read the favorites.

Corban found the paper and has restarted the flow of loving art for each us.

I have begun to dig around in the mound of paperwork on the mommy should-do list that has been piling up for several months....

And I am contemplating these verses all the while ~

Psalm 40:9 and 10

I have told the glad news of deliverance in the great congregation; behold, I have not restrained my lips, as you know, O Lord.  I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart; I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation.  I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness from the congregation.

Have I?

In the preparations for Christmas, I am struck by the needs surrounding us.  Emotional, physical, spiritual needs that are made known to us for a purpose.  Praying that this season when our homes, barns, lives have the potential to influence others to clearly see God's salavtion, that I would take every opportunity to speak of God's faithfulness.

Will you?

How has the Lord worked in the life of your family this year?  How have you seen God's provision and perfect timing?  What are some of the goals you have for the next year that when completed will speak of the grace of God in your life?  We have a mere three weeks left of 2013.  Might I encourage you to take some time and reflect on your year and set family goals for this coming year.  Who are you going to reach out to?  What are you as a family going to work together on?  What are you going to memorize?  What are you going to read?  In our family we have a saying that we remind each other often of...

A failure to plan is a plan to fail.

Take some time to get away from the business of Christmas to reflect and plan. 

Merry Christmas from the Givens Family

Lavish Grace For Weary Mommies

The tears flowed as she hauled yet another bag into the trailer to sort and organize. 

 "I have too much stuff mom!"

"Sweetheart, if everyone had to carry all of their earthly belongings everywhere they went it would be easy to feel the burden of stuff"  

My sweet girl sat down on the one free seat that wasn't covered in school books, boots, clothes, and work gloves.  

As we talked about all the different things that fill her grown up life, she started to understand just how pared down things really are.  "Make the most of it girl...."

There are few opportunities to live so simply that you can know beyond a shadow of a doubt what you really need.  This is one of those times.  We are learning daily that we need God's grace to make it through the very long days and a very few material possessions.

So with curls sweeping over her shoulder, she writes.  Her right hand is decorated with two bracelets she wears everywhere.  The first is a gift from a dear friend that simple says "grace."  The second is one that says "I am second" reminding her that Christ is and should always be first in her life.

I left the trailer to go pull wire with Jordan and came back later to find these words.  Can a heart be so full that it wants to break at the goodness of God in the life of our family?  I am so thankful for the refining challenge of living with little.

Her sense of humor shining through the struggle...she wrote the words of a silly Willie Nelson song on her bin...

I worry some days about how this crazy adventure looks to those around us.  

I worry about all the time I am asking the youngers to spend entertaining themselves while we work.

I worry about how we will finish before the snow flies.

I worry about too many things when God has always been and alway will be faithful.

All is grace.

I was reminded of that lavishly last night when at 10:00 at night my little man crawled from his warm bed in the trailer, pulled on his coveralls and his head lamp and walked over to the barn where his daddy and I were working to check on his drying paint.

Earlier in the evening he had secretly gathered scraps of wood from the job site and built this momma a bench to rest on.

Oh how ugly beautiful!  The love of a seven year old man to his momma.  The paint was still dripping wet as he presented his gift to me. Lavish grace for the moment. I needed to know that what we were doing was the right thing.

Thankful for this opportunity for all of our kids to stretch and grow in their understanding of what is important.

By God's grace the next post will be from the warmth of our barn house and we will be all tucked in for winter.